


I Want the One I Can't Have

by hatfulofhollow



Category: The Smiths
Genre: M/M, Tell Me, also, anyway, i havent rly posted a lot of my writing online so id really appreciate some comments, im trying to make this as cute as i can, like blease.. what am i doing, should i change the title i honestly idk what to call this, this is an au where morrissey works in a radio station lmfao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:33:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7467057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatfulofhollow/pseuds/hatfulofhollow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boy was shorter than him and held the umbrella too low, making Steven have to to walk with his back in an awkward hunched-over position. He didn't say anything, though. He didn't mind the back pain anyway, all he did was feel good about being this close to this charming person. He caught himself glancing over at the boy's pale, brown-eyed face several times during their short walk to the old building, whatever that meant. He, at least, did not know, and he wasn't sure if he cared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want the One I Can't Have

Steven Morrissey, whod been working at the radio station for six whole months now, half-hoped this day would be the one he got fired. He’d gotten the part-time job partially to show his mother that he could be independent, and even if there were other reasons, they didn’t matter. He couldn’t remember any of them. He hated his job. He hated taking the bus every morning to get to the radio station, greeted by (or rather, not greeted by) rude coworkers who seemed to be ostracizing him. He hated having to play music that he didn’t like, and he hated taking people’s requests on the phone to play music that he didn’t like. He hated his job, and he had realized that about two months ago. The only thing keeping him at this insufferable position was the grief his mother would give him if he couldn’t commit to a job for even a year. He hoped against hope to be fired, for whatever unfortunate circumstances out of his control.

These thoughts were flying through his mind as he sat on his daily bus ride. Resting his head on the cold window he silently watched the other passengers from the back of the bus and sighed. As his eyes and mind began to go out of focus, the bus suddenly pulled over on the curb ten yards after the last appropriate place for a bus to pull over, widely known as a bus stop. Curious, he peered over the seats to get a better view. 

He heard the bus driver grunt. ‘’Go on, get in will ya lad!’’ Steven didn’t see this lad, but he already knew two things about him: he ran ten yards after this bus in the pouring rain at eight in the morning, so whatever occasion he was taking the bus to, must have been simultaneously very important and unimportant to him, since he was so late for the bus to take him there.

‘’That’s pretty high on my list of priorities, sir, you know.’’ 

Steven smirked. Taking interest in a complete stranger whom he’d never even seen was not something he usually found himself doing, and he was amused and confused by this sudden new feeling of intrigue. As the bus took off again, he craned his neck to catch a glimpse of the boy.

He was thin, pale and soaking wet from the rain. He sat his bag on the seat in front of Steven, who quickly tried to turn his head away, but the boy saw him. Steven felt his face grow hot and his heart accelerate as brown eyes briefly glanced at him. The boy, offering a wan smile, sat down on the seat and rested his head on the window. Steven did the same, but it didnt really help his face cool down. He sighed and didn't take his eyes off the back of the boy's head for the rest of the ride.

The bus stop nearest to Steven's workplace was in a relatively secluded part of town, so there really was no reason for anyone who wasn't on their way to the radio station to get off at that particular stop. That's why when the bus was nearing the stop, Steven was surprised to notice the boy, who had sat still the whole ride, grabbed his bag. His heart began to pound again (though against his will) as he thought maybe, maybe his and the boy's destinations were the same. He wanted to hear his voice and see his face again. Maybe, if he had the courage, he'd even like to talk to him a little. But let's not get ahead of things, he thought to himself. Maybe the boy wasn't going to the radio station at all, and what a fool Steven was for assuming and even wishing for that. He shook his head and smiled at how absurdly his mind was behaving. He'd never quite this way before. His smile tailed off. 'Oh no', said his mind. 'What if-' he hastily silenced his thoughts, took out his umbrella, and got off the bus.

Somehow, perhaps due to an incredible stroke of luck, he was now standing on the bus stop a block away from the radio station, with the boy standing right next to him. He had an unfamiliar, uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to look as casual as he could as opened the umbrella. The boy, already wet from his early morning run to catch the bus, hugged himself and tried to wrap his jacket around him tighter.

''Whrrrr.......'' He said.

Steven's heart began pounding (again). Could the boy really have (sort of) spoken to him? He swallowed and offered the boy his umbrella with a gesture.

''Uh, Alright?'' He asked politely. The boy looked up at him, pleasantly surprised and took the umbrella out of his outstretched hand.

''Alright. Cheers.'' The boy smiled and Steven couldn't look away, making the silence uncomfortable after a couple of seconds.

''So... you headed to the radio station?'' The boy asked, breaking the silence.

''Yeah. Yeah, I am. I - uh, I work there.''

The boy smiled and raised his eyebrows.

''Yeah? Well so do I. Starting today.'' Steven's heart lept.

''Suppose we'd better get inside before we catch pneumonia, then.''

The boy made a face, as if to say ' _oh, of course, I completely forgot about the radio station even though we literally just discussed it'_ and gestured Steven to get under the umbrella before any of that said pneumonia-catching occured. The boy was shorter than him and held the umbrella too low, making Steven have to to walk with his back in an awkward hunched-over position. He didn't say anything, though. He didn't mind the back pain anyway, all he did was feel good about being this close to this charming person. He caught himself glancing over at the boy's pale, brown-eyed face several times during their short walk to the old building, whatever that meant. He, at least, did not know, and he wasn't sure if he cared.

What was so special about this boy? He wasn't incredibly good-looking. His denim jacket was too large for his thin frame making his twig legs stand out as even more twiggy, which made him look rather comical, in an oddly endearing way nevertheless. Quite frankly, the boy was kind of funny-looking. Steven found him cute and whatever thoughts that were trying to tell him that was wrong, he pushed to the back of his mind.

''Morrissey!!'' said Steven's boss mr. Joyce in a demanding tone. Steven Morrissey was awaken from his silly daydream and he pushed the thick glasses farther up his nose. Mr Joyce was standing in the doorway to the broadcasting room.

''We have a new employee, so you show him the ropes, all right? Show him how to do the weather and... well, you know. I'll leave you to it.'' And with that, mr. Joyce disappeared from the doorway and the Boy was standing in his place. Steven quickly sat up straight in his chair and offered the boy a shy smile, barely looking him in the eyes. The Boy stepped in and made an exaggeratedly impressed whistling noise, looking around the room.

''Oh please, you can drop the act now that you've got the job.'' Steven chuckled. The boy looked at him, amused, and pretending to be offended, he scoffed. He took a seat on the spinny chair next to Steven and spun around a couple of times restlessy. He stopped and rested his head on his hands and leaned on the table with his elbows and looked at Steven, who blushed and looked away.

''I'm Johnny Marr'', he said and smiled that endearing smile of his Steven had grown to quite like during the very short time they'd known each other. He offered his hand to be shaken and suddenly forgetting social etiquette, Steven stared at it for a moment as if confused about what to do to it.

''I'm Morrissey,'' Steven said and shook the boy's hand and couldn't help but notice it was very warm. Johnny looked at Steven curiously with his brown eyes, and raised his eyebrow.

''Morrissey... Morrissey, you have a first name?''

''Uh, Steven. But don't ever call me that, please and thank you.'' Johnny snickered at this statement like it was the oddest thing he'd ever heard.

''Okay, Steven. You can count on me, Steven.'' He had a huge grin on his face.

Steven let out a short giggle, which was very funny to Johnny, and he politely covered his mouth with his hands as he laughed. Steven couldn't help himself, and his giggles grew into a high-pitched laughter. The utter absurdity of this sudden fit of laughter that the boys were threw in only made Steven laugh louder and he removed his glasses, out of breath. ''Ahhhhhh'', he finally said, calming down, and smirked at Johnny, who still had his hands on his mouth and was looking back at him with laughter in his eyes which only made Steven laugh again.

''I'm losing my mind,'' Johnny said, and a loud giggle escaped from his mouth and he threw his hands up to cover it again.

''Why are we even laughing?'' Steven said, and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He took a deep breath. Johnny also took a deep breath. His laughter, reduced to muffled giggles was starting to calm down. Steven put his glasses back on and the boys exchanged a silent gleeful glance. Steven felt a stir in his stomach. He'd only met Johnny this morning, but he already felt a connection to the boy, like they'd been friends for a very long time. They shared a long comfortable silence, Johnny looking down at his shoes and slowly rotating from side to side on his spinny chair, and Steven fidgeting with his hands. Finally, Johnny spoke.

''Hey'', he said. Steven lifted his head. ''Mind if I take a look at those records?'' he was pointing at the shelf on the wall.

''Oh, no, go ahead. But-'' he started, but decided to not finish. Johnny looked at him questioningly. ''But they aren't very good ones, I mean.'' He continued, and cringed internally. What if Johnny thought those records were the best goddamn ones ever made? Johnny got up, turned his back on Steven and browsed through the records quickly and did that exhaling-through-the-nose sound that means something is funny, but not funny enough to laugh out loud.

''It's no wonder this is a really small radio station since you play this crap!'' He looked at Steven from behind his shoulder knowningly.

''Yeah, exactly. Exactly.'' He felt an overwhelming sensation of relief and almost sighed audibly.

At that moment, Steven's co-worker Andy appeared on the doorway. He smiled shyly and knocked a few times on the doorframe. Johnny and Steven looked up at him and Steven, knowing what was coming next immediately felt his mood drop.

''Hey, uh, Johnny? If you could come over to mr. Joyce's office...''

''Oh, of course, right away'', Johnny said and followed Andy, but before disappearing out of the door he shot a friendly smile at Steven whose dropped mood soared in the clouds for a second, but dropped right down again after Johnny was gone. Just as he was well on his way to forming a friendship, he just had to get interrupted. Forming social relationships was a relatively unopened book for him, but somehow Johnny had made him forget that. Thinking about how typical it was for this interruption to happen, he started the broadcast with the weather of the weekend.

After the unrewarding hours of mindless work, the rain had died down and Steven breathed in the fresh damp air and sighed. He started walking towards the bus stop. He thought about walking home today to have more time to clear out his thoughts. Just as he'd started walking slower, contemplating whether or not he was really going to walk home, he heard the sound of the bus engine from behind him, and he started picking up his pace realizing he wasn't completely serious about walking all the way home. As he broke into a light jog he heard the louder-growing sound of the bus and light quick footsteps somwhere from behind him.

''Go go go go GO!'' Johnny exclaimed as he caught up with Steven. Steven, running out of breath, tried to quicken his steps even further, and Johnny, who had now run past him was waving his arm around like a madman to catch the bus driver's attention. The sight of him made Steven giggle and Johnny looked over his shoulder at him and upon seeing the giggling Steven, he couldnt help but laugh loudly himself. The bus stopped abruptly just a few feet from the bus stop and the boys, laughing, got in. Out of breath, Steven sat on the first row of seats and Johnny right beside him.

Steven felt the happiest he had been in a very long time, there sitting with his friend, and though their laughter died down, their smiles did not fade.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope u enjoyed the first chapter of...whatever this is im doing. honestly. i have no idea how to write fanfiction, really. also im sorry for any mistakes, english isnt my first language lmfao. anyway! this is my first time posting my writing, tbh so i'd really appreciate some feedback:) i'll make a second chapter asap.


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